Elizabeth 'Liz' Argentum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamesburned) wrote2022-06-23 06:48 pm
flamesburned) wrote2022-06-23 06:48 pm
BPRD Headquarters - Newark, New Jersey | Thursday Evening
Returning home had felt like one of the best decisions that Liz had made in a long while and considering her choices as of late, that wasn’t really saying much but she had taken the last few days to catch up on sleep, she had reluctantly been using the stronger anxiety tablets that Dr. Lecter had prescribed but she had found that that was the only way she could get any sleep. She was still tired and miserable and hurting but she had finally been able to start sleeping again.
It had also helped being able to talk with Summer the other day and Liz was feeling slightly more positive about her prospects on returning to Fandom, she still had a long way to go before she could finally make things right.
It was her birthday and Liz normally didn’t really celebrate her birthday, she wasn’t the biggest fan of parties in general but it was harder this year because she thought she’d at least be able to celebrate with Prompto and he had mentioned celebrating her birthday together in the weeks before she’d lost contact with him.
She checked her phone yet again, as she had been doing constantly throughout the day, to see if there was any messages, maybe Prompto had sent something and she had finally been able to receive it but there was still nothing and she sighed, focusing her attention instead on Rain and Leo, she had been spending a lot of time with the cats while she was back and she was taking a lot of photos so that she could send them through to Prompto.
Then her phone did ping and for a very brief moment she dared to hope that it was Prompto and she couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that it was Steven because it was another reminder of how badly she’d screwed up and she knew that she did have to talk to Steven again to apologise but he had reached out to her and she didn’t think there was any harm in responding to a happy birthday text for her birthday.
Finally later that evening, after she had talked to Steven she decided to venture out of her quarters and head towards the library, Hellboy was on an away mission and wouldn’t be back til tomorrow when they would celebrate her birthday properly but she thought she’d spend some time with Abe since she hadn’t really done that lately.
After a moments hesitation, she joined Abe at the table where he was doing research, she didn’t know what to say at first … and she knew she didn’t have to, Abe would pick up everything that she was thinking and feeling.
“You know I’m always here if you do want to talk right?” Abe asked after he looked up from his book, “just because I already know what happened and what you’re thinking, doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you … it’s just the two of us here,” he assured her gently. “After all it’s your birthday, I wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to be alone,”
Liz bit her lip, the last thing she felt like doing was actually talking about how much of a screw up she’d been but Abe … well he already knew the story, of how badly she had wrecked things and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get things out in the open.
Everything.
“I …I completely ruined things,” she finally got out, “I was told repeatedly that I was making terrible choices …that I was moving too fast and I - I just reacted, I didn’t think about what I was doing or who I was hurting … I was selfish and I … “ the tears began to build up in her eyes and a few began to trickle down her cheeks. “I don’t know how I can fix this,”
“There’s always a way to fix things,” Abe pointed out, “I mean … I’m not much of a problem solver myself, I’ve spent three decades working on a Rubik Cube and I’ve only completed three sides,” he said wryly, indicating to the Rubik cube that was sitting by his stack of books. “You have been through a lot of trauma Liz and your journey has not been an easy one …I remember how you were the days after the fire, when you were first brought to the BPRD … you didn’t say a word to anyone for the first couple of months and then Hellboy sat with you and slowly, you began to talk to him and open up to him … no one thought you were going to get better after that fire but you … you slowly but surely got back up again and started to move forward … it was hard for you, but then you made such good progress that Professor Broom felt you ready to go back to school and sent you to Fandom, you stayed at Fandom til you graduated, even after everything you went through … the abduction, the fires … you got through everything then and you’re going to get through everything now,” Abe told her gently.
Liz nodded, hall slumping down in her seat, “I just feel so helpless, I can’t think straight anymore … about anything and I’ve hurt so many people in the process,”
“You could always come back,” Abe said gently, “you always have a place on this team,”
“I’m too much of a liability, I can’t make good logical choices as it is … if you were counting on me in the field…” Liz said softly, “and I wouldn’t pass any psych evals to get cleared for field work right now…I’m too much of a mess,” she stared down at her hands, “I just need time, time to process … to think and I … I do have to go back, to try and make amends,” she closed her eyes briefly and opened them again, “it was all my fault and I … I was too caught up in my own wants and desires,” she bit her lip, “thank you though … for listening,” she paused, “please don’t tell the others how badly I screwed up,”
Abe considered her thoughtfully and nodded, “what we talked about today, won’t go beyond this room … I assure you I did mean what I said Liz, you always have a place here, we’re your family and we’re always here if you need us,” and he reached a webbed hand towards her own, to give her that comforting squeeze.
His expression changed to one of surprise and he looked up at Liz, “oh … you’re … you’re pregnant,” he told her and for a second she just stared at him, her first instinct was to say that he was lying but she knew that Abe wouldn’t lie about something like that … actually Abe wouldn’t lie in general. “Does Prompto know?” he asked and at that she shook her head, trembling.
“I didn’t … I mean I didn’t know,” she said softly.
The tears that had been threatening to spill were overflowing now … she couldn’t stop them and she looked down at her still flat stomach, her other hand going to it instinctively, “do you know if …” she bit her lip, not quite processing the news that she was carrying Prompto’s child and she had no way of getting in contact with him to tell him the news.
Would he even want a family with her after all that she done?
“You’re having a girl,” Abe told her, “you’re seven weeks pregnant,”
Liz just sat there crying, Abe was still holding her other hand as she tried to figure out in that moment what she was supposed to do. The idea of being a single mother terrified her but her daughter was her only known link to Prompto …
With the way she had been behaving it was only fitting that she was punished by having a child out of wedlock
Finally she managed to stop crying for a bit, “can you … I mean, can you not tell Hellboy and the others just yet?” She asked quietly, Abe looked at her in surprise, “I will tell them, I just … I need more time, Hellboy will try and make me stay but I need to go back to Fandom,”
Abe nodded again, “as I said before, nothing we’ve discussed will leave this room but I do suggest you tell them,” he said gently, “preferably before you head back to Fandom,”
Liz hiccuped, and merely nodded wiping the tears away that had not fallen as she tried to comprehend that she was going to be a mother …it was definitely not how she was picturing her birthday to have turned out.
[Surprise! NFB due to distance but OOC is welcome. CW for Liz’s general state of mind and depression, nothing too dark but the last month or so has definitely started to take its toll on her]
It had also helped being able to talk with Summer the other day and Liz was feeling slightly more positive about her prospects on returning to Fandom, she still had a long way to go before she could finally make things right.
It was her birthday and Liz normally didn’t really celebrate her birthday, she wasn’t the biggest fan of parties in general but it was harder this year because she thought she’d at least be able to celebrate with Prompto and he had mentioned celebrating her birthday together in the weeks before she’d lost contact with him.
She checked her phone yet again, as she had been doing constantly throughout the day, to see if there was any messages, maybe Prompto had sent something and she had finally been able to receive it but there was still nothing and she sighed, focusing her attention instead on Rain and Leo, she had been spending a lot of time with the cats while she was back and she was taking a lot of photos so that she could send them through to Prompto.
Then her phone did ping and for a very brief moment she dared to hope that it was Prompto and she couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that it was Steven because it was another reminder of how badly she’d screwed up and she knew that she did have to talk to Steven again to apologise but he had reached out to her and she didn’t think there was any harm in responding to a happy birthday text for her birthday.
Finally later that evening, after she had talked to Steven she decided to venture out of her quarters and head towards the library, Hellboy was on an away mission and wouldn’t be back til tomorrow when they would celebrate her birthday properly but she thought she’d spend some time with Abe since she hadn’t really done that lately.
After a moments hesitation, she joined Abe at the table where he was doing research, she didn’t know what to say at first … and she knew she didn’t have to, Abe would pick up everything that she was thinking and feeling.
“You know I’m always here if you do want to talk right?” Abe asked after he looked up from his book, “just because I already know what happened and what you’re thinking, doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you … it’s just the two of us here,” he assured her gently. “After all it’s your birthday, I wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to be alone,”
Liz bit her lip, the last thing she felt like doing was actually talking about how much of a screw up she’d been but Abe … well he already knew the story, of how badly she had wrecked things and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get things out in the open.
Everything.
“I …I completely ruined things,” she finally got out, “I was told repeatedly that I was making terrible choices …that I was moving too fast and I - I just reacted, I didn’t think about what I was doing or who I was hurting … I was selfish and I … “ the tears began to build up in her eyes and a few began to trickle down her cheeks. “I don’t know how I can fix this,”
“There’s always a way to fix things,” Abe pointed out, “I mean … I’m not much of a problem solver myself, I’ve spent three decades working on a Rubik Cube and I’ve only completed three sides,” he said wryly, indicating to the Rubik cube that was sitting by his stack of books. “You have been through a lot of trauma Liz and your journey has not been an easy one …I remember how you were the days after the fire, when you were first brought to the BPRD … you didn’t say a word to anyone for the first couple of months and then Hellboy sat with you and slowly, you began to talk to him and open up to him … no one thought you were going to get better after that fire but you … you slowly but surely got back up again and started to move forward … it was hard for you, but then you made such good progress that Professor Broom felt you ready to go back to school and sent you to Fandom, you stayed at Fandom til you graduated, even after everything you went through … the abduction, the fires … you got through everything then and you’re going to get through everything now,” Abe told her gently.
Liz nodded, hall slumping down in her seat, “I just feel so helpless, I can’t think straight anymore … about anything and I’ve hurt so many people in the process,”
“You could always come back,” Abe said gently, “you always have a place on this team,”
“I’m too much of a liability, I can’t make good logical choices as it is … if you were counting on me in the field…” Liz said softly, “and I wouldn’t pass any psych evals to get cleared for field work right now…I’m too much of a mess,” she stared down at her hands, “I just need time, time to process … to think and I … I do have to go back, to try and make amends,” she closed her eyes briefly and opened them again, “it was all my fault and I … I was too caught up in my own wants and desires,” she bit her lip, “thank you though … for listening,” she paused, “please don’t tell the others how badly I screwed up,”
Abe considered her thoughtfully and nodded, “what we talked about today, won’t go beyond this room … I assure you I did mean what I said Liz, you always have a place here, we’re your family and we’re always here if you need us,” and he reached a webbed hand towards her own, to give her that comforting squeeze.
His expression changed to one of surprise and he looked up at Liz, “oh … you’re … you’re pregnant,” he told her and for a second she just stared at him, her first instinct was to say that he was lying but she knew that Abe wouldn’t lie about something like that … actually Abe wouldn’t lie in general. “Does Prompto know?” he asked and at that she shook her head, trembling.
“I didn’t … I mean I didn’t know,” she said softly.
The tears that had been threatening to spill were overflowing now … she couldn’t stop them and she looked down at her still flat stomach, her other hand going to it instinctively, “do you know if …” she bit her lip, not quite processing the news that she was carrying Prompto’s child and she had no way of getting in contact with him to tell him the news.
Would he even want a family with her after all that she done?
“You’re having a girl,” Abe told her, “you’re seven weeks pregnant,”
Liz just sat there crying, Abe was still holding her other hand as she tried to figure out in that moment what she was supposed to do. The idea of being a single mother terrified her but her daughter was her only known link to Prompto …
With the way she had been behaving it was only fitting that she was punished by having a child out of wedlock
Finally she managed to stop crying for a bit, “can you … I mean, can you not tell Hellboy and the others just yet?” She asked quietly, Abe looked at her in surprise, “I will tell them, I just … I need more time, Hellboy will try and make me stay but I need to go back to Fandom,”
Abe nodded again, “as I said before, nothing we’ve discussed will leave this room but I do suggest you tell them,” he said gently, “preferably before you head back to Fandom,”
Liz hiccuped, and merely nodded wiping the tears away that had not fallen as she tried to comprehend that she was going to be a mother …it was definitely not how she was picturing her birthday to have turned out.
[Surprise! NFB due to distance but OOC is welcome. CW for Liz’s general state of mind and depression, nothing too dark but the last month or so has definitely started to take its toll on her]